Friday, January 8, 2010

My baby...

It all started with the waiting. Waiting in that dimly lit delivery room for 14 hours with all sorts of tubes poking out of me in the most uncomfortable places. Especially the IV in my hand.. the stupid nurse dug around inside my vein trying to get the IV in place and ended up bruising my whole wrist. She used just about a whole roll of tape trying to get the IV to stay put. You would think it was her first time, but I think she was just a sadistic person enjoying watching me writhe in pain. After waiting 4 hours for them to start the Pitocin, they waited 7 hours to break my water! The nurse's lame excuse was that they had been pretty busy and had been meaning to come in and do it.. 30 seconds later POP! and GUSH. Really? Really?? For 7 hours you were too busy to run in and stick a plastic knife through a bag of water? Oh I was SOOO mad.. I made that nurse's life miserable for the next two hours- all the up until her shift ended. I bet she was REALLY glad to go home! Parker thinks I should have apologized to her for being so mean, but he wasn't the one strapped to the bed :)
To my delight, the new nurse came in shortly after 6am and SURPRISE! I was fully dilated! Suddenly the ball was really rolling! All sorts of nurses starting coming in and out of our room, Parker started phoning all the family, and the doctor was paged. Ahhh. It was almost over!
Things went surprisingly fast after that. I started pushing with my two labor nurses. One was at the helm, shouting orders and encouragement up to me, and the other was supporting my right leg (none of this stirrup business). Parker, the soon-to-be Daddy, bravely took his post at my left leg. After a few pushes we could see a tiny bit of dark, bloody hair peeping out. The nurses joined me in a squeal of delight and just before the next push came... Parker almost fainted! I guess all that blood and gore he loves so much in his horror movies wasn't enough to prepare him for childbirth :) Two more nurses came bustling in. One relieved Parker of his station, and the other tended to his needs. Lol. Parker watched the rest of the show from a comfy chair pushed a safe distance away.
The pushing went a little too well and we had to take a breather while we waited for the doctor to show up. Luckily, he was already at the hospital and was there within minutes. Good thing too, because it's really hard to keep a baby in after 40 minutes of pushing it out. With the help of the doctor and a HUGE mirror, we got the baby's head right to the edge... and with a POP, TEAR, WHOOSH she was out! Ahhhh... what an awesome feeling! Like taking the worlds biggest poop after months of constipation. But wait, there's more! We all focused in on a second helping of pushing to squeeze out the afterbirth. All of us, that is, except for the nurse who had whisked Nellie away, and Parker- who managed to snap this photo:

And my beautiful Nellie was born! Just moments later she was laid on my chest for our first heart to heart moment as mother and daughter. Both of us, of course, were in complete shock, and while I stared at her she opened her tiny lungs and cried her little heart out. Her cries mimicked my exact feelings and thoughts and that moment: What just happened?? A second ago the world revolved around me and Parker, and now.. now.. this? What was "this"? A baby, surely, but not mine. The hustle and bustle seemed to pass me by as I tried to calm my pounding heart and wrap my head around this new little human. I felt my courage fading. There was no way I could do this. I was just a kid, a babe, myself. Barely old enough to be called adult. High school sweethearts with no life experience. What were we supposed to do with a child? For a moment I was completely lost. My strength wavered and fell. My excitement shriveled up into nothing; and my last bit of courage fled. Lost, completely and totally lost.
And then, I felt a strong arm snake its way around me and pull me into warm firm hug. I looked up into my husband's glowing face. We shared smiles, mine uncertain and his proud. And suddenly- suddenly everything fell into place. Yes, we were kids- once. But now we were parents. And now we had something to take care of. Not a dog, not a house, a baby. Our baby.

My baby.


AshleeMattMaxJack said...

Ah... finally! I think you need to blog way more often because you are a great writer and I got teary eyed in the end! How sweet!!! I love you 3 so much and I am so happy to be an Auntie to our beautiful Nells!

Beths Blog said... are a fantastic writer. You need to pursue this as you have a gift. Your blog was amazing and left me weepy. Oh the joy Nellie and you two have brought into my life:) Thank you!